How can I help someone else who is asking for help?
Many people who experience a mental health problem talk to friends and family before talking to a health professional, so the support you can provide can be really valuable. This page contains:
What emotional support can I provide?
If someone tells you they’re experiencing difficult thoughts and feelings, it’s normal to feel like you don’t know what to do or say—but you need some special training to know. Not that you care about them. Often it can be really valuable for someone to be there and do the little things. For example:
Listen Just giving someone space to talk, and listening to how they feel, can be really helpful in itself. If they find it difficult, let them know you’ll be there when they’re ready.
Reassurance Asking for help can feel lonely and sometimes scary. You can reassure someone by letting them know they are not alone and that you will be there to help.
Complete silence Although it can be upsetting to hear that someone you care about is upset, try to stay calm. It will also help your friend or family member feel at ease and know that they can open up to you without any inhibitions.
be patient. You want to learn more about their thoughts and feelings, or get immediate help. But it is important to allow them to set their own pace in order to gain support.
Try not to speculate. Your perspective may be helpful to your friend or family member, but don’t try to think you already know what might be causing their feelings, or what will help.
Maintain social relationships. Part of the emotional support you can provide may be to keep things as normal as possible. This may include conversations with friends or family members at social events, or other areas of your life.
What practical help can I offer?
There are many practical things you can do to help someone who is ready to ask for help. For example:
Find information that may be useful. When someone seeks help, they may be worried about making the right choice, or feel that they have no control over their situation. Our page on listening to yourself will give you some ideas about what you can research, and how you can help someone think about what works for them.
Help him write a list of questions you suggest he might ask his doctor, or help him put the words in an order that makes sense (for example, important points first). .
Help organize paperwork, for example making sure your friend or family member has a safe place to keep their notes, prescriptions and appointment records.
Go to the appointment with them if they want – even just being in the waiting room can help reassure someone.
Ask them if there are specific practical tasks you can help with, and work on them. For example, this may include:
Offer them a lift somewhere.
Arrange childcare for them.
Taking on housework or chores.
Learn more about the problems they face to help you think of other ways you can help them. Our website provides lots of information about different types of mental health problems, including what friends and family can do to help in each case.
What can I do if someone doesn’t want my help?
If you feel that someone you care about is clearly struggling, but can’t or won’t accept help, you feel frustrated, unhappy. But it’s important to recognize that they are a person, and there are always limits to what you can do to help someone else.
You can:
be patient. You may not always know the whole story, and there may be reasons that make it difficult for them to seek help.
Provide emotional support and reassurance. Let them know you care and that you will be there if they change their mind.
Tell them how to ask for help when they’re ready (for example, you can show them our pages about talking to your GP and what happens when you make an appointment).
Take care of yourself, and make sure you don’t get sick yourself.
You cannot:
Get someone to talk to you. It can take time for someone to feel able to open up, and feeling pressured to talk can make them feel less comfortable sharing their experiences with you.